Four Ways

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 I carry a small card in my wallet - it has four simple statements on it, adapted from the work of cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien, who passed away a month ago today.  They have been touchstones for me in times of confusion - and a reminder of the power we always have to make positive choices in the moment, no matter what appears in the way.  Here they are:

  1. Show up and choose to be present.
    A choice we often forget we have - even when we are already physically present.  There is always a choice to show up with whatever is going on - in a dull meeting, on a conference call, in a lunchtime conversation with someone we don't like.  Wherever, whenever, there is always a choice to connect or disconnect - and there is always something to gain, learn or give when we choose to connect. 
  2. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning.
    We live and work in such information-rich environments - it is so easy to be swept away by all the action items, ideas, facts, opinions.  This reminder suggests that we pause every now and then and ask whether we are forgetting the important in favor of the immediate.   Realigning priorities and remembering why we have chosen the path we are on, and taking time to connect to the people and principles that light us up.
  3. Tell your truth without judgment or blame.
    I have always thought I was really good at the first part of this - too good, actually - telling my truth.  But sadly, I realized that too often it came along with a silent partner - judgment and/or blame.  Opening to the possibility that those who oppose us might have a simple truth as motivation, rather than intent to harm us, can change the way we listen and use that opposition.
  4. Be open to the outcome, not attached to the outcome.
    Oh, this is a tough one.   We all wish we could be more certain about outcomes and our ability to deliver them.  Holding on - not too tight, not too loose - that is the challenge.  The good news is that, often as not, opening to new information will deliver a better outcome than hanging on to desperate belief in outdated assumptions.   You don't have to abandon your intention, but you might be surprised at the paths that may open up to get you there.